Most everyone has had a "good riddance to bad rubbish" moment when it came to ending a toxic relationship. The feeling of finally cutting ties with someone who has brought nothing but negativity and drama into your life can be incredibly liberating. But more often than not, the "dump-ee" has some final words to say on the matter.
It's a common occurrence for an ex to lash out with hurtful and insulting remarks after being dumped. They may try to hurt you with words in an attempt to make themselves feel better about the situation. It's important to remember that these words are not a reflection of your worth as a person and to not let them affect you.
Have any more "nasty" things that an ex has said to you after you had dumped them? Share your stories in the comments below. Let's hear the worst of the worst and give each other some virtual support during this difficult time.
#1One thing I don't understand is, HE wanted out, HE was sleeping with my best friend (and got her pregnant while we were in marriage counseling) so when I said okay, lets end it, he was enraged. He told me the world would be a better place if my mother had scraped me out with a rusty coat hanger than if I had been born. He also said, "You'll never find someone to treat you the way I did." THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
#2My ex (mother to my son) said I'm a sad a loser and no one else would want me. She abused me for the two years we were together. I've been in a happy relationship for 7 years now and have the best relationship with my son from my ex. I also have a son with my current partner. :)
#3He told me that he wasn’t looking for anything serious…we had been together for 8 years, lived together for 6 and I had raised his children like my own. He could just never stop cheating.
#4That without him I'm nothing.
It was just his toxic, narcissistic manipulation to belittle me, as he was doing similar things for 7 years (the time we were together). And this was hilarious, because I was taking care of everything about our relationship - it was me who found and furnished our apartment, I was cooking, cleaning, and paying for most of the stuff as I have a better paid job. I dumped him because he was a narcissist and cared only about himself.
#5That he'd slept with his ex the night before and it had shown him how much he "really cared" for me. You know, because there's no better way to say "I love you" than forking someone else.
#6"You're nothing but a lazy user who nobody wants and nobody loves!!! I also reported your dog stolen and sent both your pictures to every vet in the state so you'll be arrested when you bring him in for his shots!!!"
Not finished with all the legal nonsense, but a no-contact order works wonders.
#7Not mine but was given permission to share it.
My sister dated this guy for like 2 years. Super manipulative and toxic a**hole. He flipped his lid when she finally had enough and broke it off.
Told her she was "f*cking worthless anyways" and "___ was a better f*ck anyhow" then he told her he had been planning to "drop [her] a** anyhow because [she was] starting to really pack on the pounds and it was getting gross."
She had an eating disorder for years. And she was really only starting to get back to a healthy weight, so calling her fat was possibly the cruelest thing he could've done.
Luckily, shed been going to therapy by that point and was really happy with the added weight so the words didn't do what he wanted.
#8He asked everyone he knew to call me and say what a loser I am, etc., but I got no calls. Turns out they all sided with me and now a have another huge group of friends.
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#9My ex broke up with me and then sent me this whole text essay about how they never loved me and that I was just a game to them.
#10When I realized he was a narcissist, I decided to end things. My son had passed away the year before from cardiac arrest brought on by energy drinks. When he started gaslighting me (again) and I said I was done, he got nasty and physical.
He told me that if I’d been a better mother, my son would still be alive. I lost it and tried to leave. He dove into the car as I was leaving, causing me to accidentally run over his leg. I called 911, then he pulled a gun on me while I was on the phone.
The dispatcher overheard the whole conversation and sent the police. He tried to say I mowed him down but he was partially in the passenger, hanging out the door so they didn’t believe him. They arrested him based on what the dispatcher had relayed. A week later he was arrested AGAIN for breaking his son’s jaw. No revenge needed.
#11My ex-fiancée, the week that my brother died, sent me an email about how we had to delete our wedding Facebook account and that I was a terrible person. I know that he knew about my brother dying, because we have mutual friends that would have told him. I'm glad that I ended things with someone who waited till it hurt the most to hurt me more.
This was one of the many terrible things he said, but it stands out the most.
#12It's maybe not "nasty" but I still can't wrap my head around it. He said, "It would work if you'd change your attitude". Sure... I really just should be okay with being talked down to the whole time, with being ignored, with being gaslighted... sure thing.
#13My EX taunted me saying, "you have something like a p*nis... only smaller!" I said, "Oh, you look like my new girlfriend... only fatter and less flexible." She didn't take it all that well!
#14We weren't exclusive or anything but had been close friends for years before we started hooking up. A few months after things fell apart we talked and he told me he had known for about a year that we shouldn't be in touch.
So I asked him why he had spent time with me although him knowing better. The answer was that he had been single for eight years and therefore was desperate and that I had to understand.
#15One cheated on me & told me I was an alcoholic (after he got a DUI). Another said that I was mentally ill because I was leaving him after he'd cheated on me (then he got into the boxes I'd packed & stole several of my things). Another told me that he hated that I'd cut my hair, that I should skip lunches (apparently I was getting too fat for him), and that it wasn't hard work but simply dumb luck that I'd been able to land a great career (but he had no problem spending the money I made on old cars & other useless c**p, including using MY severance check to buy an old Ford pickup). When I told him I wanted a divorce, he was shocked. Really? He guilt-tripped me into leaving a couch that was purchased with MY bonus check & ended up giving it away after I left.
I have my grandmother's luck when it comes to lousy men!
#16After I broke up with my ex (after a year of his condescending behavior and I finally had enough after he berated me for posing with an advertisement/billboard of one of my fav K-pop stars), he told me for my next relationship I get into, I would most likely be physically abused.
#17He took all of my biggest insecurities and made fun of them. He told me I should be insecure about them and listed out examples of how true they were.
#18She said, "I only slept with him (my best friend at that time) once!"
#19My husband told me he didn't want to pay alimony because we don't have kids. And therefore I was able to build my career within our marriage. Guess what: we had a son (stillborn) in 2019 AND an elaborate fertility program that led to a miscarriage after in 2021. So yeah, his comment really hurt me.
#20My ex-wife told me I’m a fraud, broke every picture of me in the house, and told me “F*** your music” (I have a side gig as a musician). She then spent six months begging me to come back, but when I finally told her I’m never coming back, she told people in texts that went to my ten-year-old kid’s iPad that I’m a “laughable parent” and that she is the victim of my abuse. It’s been a constant, complete lunacy ever since.
#21He said he loved me after he slept with my sister and my best friend.
#22I told my ex to choose between his addiction or the kids and myself. He said straight out said his addiction. Good riddance.
#23That I'm not good enough to be loved but my friend, whom you met through me is good enough. Happened 4 times in a row, by 4 different people that don't know each other. It must be true.
#24"You're not pretty enough to dump someone like me. In fact, *I* say it's over between us!"
#25I don't know if it counts, since I didn't dump them. But the first girl I dated left me for the guy she was cheating on me with, and she told me explicitly. She also told me how much better he was than me.
The second girl I dated admitted to deliberately trying to push me into taking myself out.
#26My ex told me that I would never ever get someone of his caliber ever, and that I would wind up with some grease-monkey. Well I did marry a man who worked on cars for a living, and he made 3 times what my ex made, and now my college graduate ex is in his 60s and hasn't worked in his field in decades and now works at a sporting goods store barely above minimum wage.
#27He put me in the hospital. Seriously beat me because I had no right, apparently, to make a decision about ‘his life’ without him. This was after a fight where he’d got angry about me using contraception because *he* wanted children.
(25 years ago. I don’t know if he’s even still alive and I’m ok with that.)
#28Dumped him because he could not stop cheating on me. Told him the day I broke up with him, I couldn’t believe I gave him my virginity and he had the gall to tell me he had been a virgin, too. Pure unadulterated a*****e!
#29“What kind of a mother would a girl like YOU be?”
I had become close friends with an Irish co-worker. He was a fairly naïve country boy who loved my tattoos and ever-changing hair color, and was always fascinated with my unusual upbringing and adventures. Until we drunkenly hooked up after our company’s Xmas party, and I became pregnant.
I was almost 30 and wanted to have it and remain friends. He threatened to go back to Ireland to avoid child support if I did not do what HE and his family back home wanted- which was to have the baby and give it up for adoption. At the same time, he wanted to name it after an ex-girlfriend of his. (WT actual F?) I’m on my own in every sense with no family or support system, and I didn’t want my child to grow up in the same miserable poverty that I did. So I had an abortion. As it turned out, I was never able to get pregnant again. So my “family” dies with me.
#30I didn't have a lot of money as I was a single mom and I was doing the best I could. This grown man lived with his mother and had nothing of his own and had the audacity to say to me "At least all my stuff doesn't come from goodwill". Like what stuff do you even have, oh yeah none, it's all your mom's! My stuff might have been second hand but it was MY stuff. I never talked to him again.
#31"You'll never be more than a curiosity sh*g." This was 10 years ago.
#32My ex falsely accused me of raping him. This was after I spent a year chasing him to terminate the mobile phone contract he'd taken out in my name without my permission, and kept stringing me along saying he'd deal with it.
After I hadn't heard from him for months I contacted some mutual friends to see if they would ask him to contact me. He went off and sent me the most disgusting and abusive email including the false allegations.
I blocked him on all media, and the mobile phone company agreed to terminate the contract immediately for me. He'd been emotionally abusive during the relationship and this gaslighting was another way of trying to retain control.
#33Ahhh, got a little list ;p
- I'l kill you when I see you two walking
- You think anyone would want to have sex with a fat pig like you? (My SO likes my body, which is actually just a bit over the voluptuous side)
-You have to get yourself tested for an STD because you could have given it to me. (I never cheated, she however did and never got tested, I should just shut up.)
- If you don't (too many things to specifie) I'll come over with some friends and we'll beat you up. (Never happened, my SO is an ex police-officer and very not impressed by anybody)
- If I kill myself it's your fault (Yeah, not)
- I'll beat up your son! I'm at your house now and you're not home (Called the cops on her then who were there very quick) and also contacted my neighbours to check my house please.
- I order you to break of all contact with my family (with pleasure)
- You have to let me in when I come over to visit you, but only if you send "him" away while I'm there (Like what? You're not that important to me that I even want you to come visit me.)
- I have those things that I took with me when I moved, I'm in the neighbourhood and can bring them by. My response that I didn't need it anymore was not acceptable, I got an email full of hatred yet again...
I'm so happy she's somebody elses problem now, but the most happy I am for the fact that I had the guts to break up and choose for my own happyness finally ;)
#34Coming out of a two year baby-trap relationship between her and my bank account where my son and I were just background characters. Two years of emotional abuse, controlling and coercive behaviour ruined relationships with friends and family, lost my job, and a *lot* of physical abuse - which was always backed up with "there's nothing you can do to stop me, I can do whatever I want to you". That was true, she was absolutely right. I'm fourteen inches taller than her and close to three times her bodyweight so no one would have ever taken me seriously if I'd spoken out, likely they'd think I was trying to cover my tracks or something (this is going back several decades). Thing is though, it doesn't matter how big you are when someone takes a dinner plate and swings it full force like a hammer so the edge of it hits your top two front teeth - when you're asleep. Or they stick a needle under your fingernail, clamp your toes in the £200 hair straightener you just bought them. Nor does it help when you've let your guard down - like when you're being intimate, it's going very well, then out of the blue with no warning the person on top of you starts using your jaw as a punchbag while laughing at you (you can't see them because of my beard, but I've got little flower shaped scars along my jawline on both sides from where her rings cut in to my cheeks).
Anyhow, the thing that sticks most in my mind from that time is from when I just packed a big bag for my son (I don't have even one single possession, item, no family photo's, anything at all from my life before the age of 26, just my medals which happened to be at my Dad's house) and walked out to save us both. Her parting shot was "Fine, take the little ba***rd, it's a f****ing c**t anyway. I never wanted it, should have drowned it in the f'king bath cos it's useless just like you. I'm gonna tell social services you beat me and did things to the kid so they'll take him off you anyway, then when you're in jail I'll just leave the little c**t on a bus for someone to take".
Now, I'm no angel, I'm not even a particularly good person. Especially when I was younger my go-to response for anything I felt slighted by was to express my displeasure by using my paws rather than my words (there's reasons behind it but this post is far too long already) - but saying that, I have never *ever* put my hands on a woman in that way, and to the day I draw my last breath I never ever will. Through all the abuse, trauma, misery it never even once crossed my mind, but just in that one instant - let's say it was a very, *very* close call. I'm not proud of that in any way shape or form, but right in that instant turning around and walking away, choosing to de-escalate rather than retaliate, "allowing" that person who's just upset me to walk away without "punishing them" for it, that's the single most self restraint I've had to show with anything ever.
#35After I split with my child's mother, on Christmas before are custody arrangements, she said she had left the state and that I would never see my child again. She then said I amount to nothing and I should k*ll myself because it would be better for my child to never know me, and she would make sure to tell my child good things about me so they wouldn't know how pathetic I was.
I was a stay at home dad, so at the time I didn't have any money or a job. The house was under her name. I was living in my car that Christmas, but I had a trunk full of presents to give after selling a few things I had. She sent that message after I sat in a parking lot 3 hours waiting for them to show up.
After some time, I well established myself, have a wonderful relationship with my child.
The words she said on that Christmas broke me as a person, but that allowed me to rebuild myself into much more of a father then I would have become without leaving.
...I have a lot of petty things to say ? I won't say them, but man I really wanna ?
#36This will get buried, but still ... my ex-husband (father of my son) told me I was being too kind and nice. Was freakingly disturbing.
#37I was honest. "I just don't feel the butterflies for you anymore. I'm sorry."
He responded, "I haven't felt ANYTHING for you but I didn't just end things."
Well, I did and he should have sooner if that was the truth.
#38"Come catch a bullet." Was together over 20 years, been divorced about 12 years, separated several years before that. This was a text I received last year along with a lot more (I stopped counting after 65) one night while he was obviously drunk and mad at me. Drunker than usual. We hadn't even recently spoken to each other before the barage of texts. And he wonders why his son (30) and ex-wife won't talk to him. He's now blocked.
#39He told me I'm nothing without him, he said he was going to commit suicide to try and get me back.
#40Technically she dumped me, but what she said still hurt.
We were supposed to go out on Valentine's Day, but she came home and said she had other plans. After arguing a bit, she said she had plans with another guy.
So I asked her if she was breaking up with me on Valentine's Day, and her response was "It's rude to cancel plans with someone once you've made them".
Yeah, that stung.
#41Ex-broke up with me for a fraternity brother of mine Senior year in college. Probably cheated on me with him but I’ll never know nor do I care. I started dating someone else, who she knew. Ex started asking my fraternity brothers about the new girl. That’s when I lost it. At an internal but formal seniors graduating event, I handed down to my fraternity brother the chair on which me and the ex last had sex on in the locker-room style shower of the fraternity house…which was already a notable event because it took place the day after finals the semester before when we had mistakenly thought the house was empty and we were both quite loud. 2 hours after the fraternity event, I get a call from the fraternity brother which I didn’t answer. 30 minutes later was the ex, which I did. She was barking up a storm about how that I was ruining her image, that I was destroying her good memories…blah blah blah. I didn’t say a word but laughed so hard and hung up the phone. Last I ever heard from her…I married the woman I had started dating and she gets a kick out of the story every time.
#42"Were we even dating?"
#43“You’re not my girlfriend anymore so I can finally beat the s**t out of you.” I was young and dumb, he was an emotional and sexual abuser. That was the last straw and I finally left him for good after that.
#44They didn't say it to me, but they tried to convince the entire school that I was racist...
#45Years after my divorce, my ex-wife told me I was never a bad husband and was a very caring and attentive father.
#46man I'd regret recalling this, but here we go:
fyi i have a speech problem, mainly stuttering (improving tho) but it was rlly rlly bad last yr especially after lockdown. Sooo when things kinda broke of he said bullshits like 'your novel is a waste of time' 'we can date again once you learn how to speak English *wink emoji' this s**t lowkey hurt bc its not that i cant speak english properly i just have a speech problem that happens regardless of what language I speak. He harassed me way too f*****g much afterward, using his friend's accounts to send hateful messages and even to the extend of personal and school emails. He was a pathological liar and left me scarred for a long time. I'm all g now tho.
#47I was with a deadbeat drug addict for way too long in my early 20s. I also have severe lupus and my health had just started going seriously downhill. I had a lung collapse out of nowhere and found out that he was sleeping around while I was in the hospital. I broke up with him over the phone while still in the hospital. He proceeded to call my phone repeatedly. I handed it to my sis and told her to take it home with her. My family could call the hospital to speak to me if they needed and my other sister was sleeping beside my bed because I was scared and didn't know any of this was lupus related at the time. The next day, older sister shows up to visit.
Me: Can I see my phone?
Older sister: Not until I clear *insert jerk's name here* texts. And if I see MF again, I'm catching a felony. (She's a half hippy/half Christian woman that seems to love everyone regardless of anything. So this let me know it was bad. I had never heard her use MF before and I didn't think she knew what catching a felony meant until that day.)
Eventually, I got the phone as a new text came in. Actual wording is below with some censoring.
"Of course I cheated on you you disease ridden c-word. Who would actually want your pig a-word?! I hope you die in that hospital."
That was only one of about thirty texts he had sent. Long story short, they got more threatening. Ended in a permanent restraining order after he kept driving by my dad's house pointing his finger like it was a gun every time he saw someone in my family.
Still ended happily for though. He's now in his mid-40s and living with his mommy and I ended up testifying in another restraining order case brought by another woman who found my order and her lawyer called me. That order was granted too and I'm actually still friends with that woman. I'm eleven years married to a man who treats me so respectfully that the first six months I dated him I thought he had to be playing me somehow. Nope. He's just a decent human being and partner. Apparently I wasn't used to that. Health still isn't great but at least I have someone actually willing to be supportive and take care of me when issues arise.
#48He tried to spread lies that I was a p*dophile and posted revenge porn of me with a summary of how I liked young boys.
This, this from the 30 year old that went on and on abput how he wanted to "deflower" a virgin, forced me to dress up as a schoolgirl as much as possible, previously had *been* with a younger girl and stole underwear from lost and founds so he could do nasty things with them (trust me... nasty).
I was young myself (21), had moved out to be with him, had a mental illness and couldn't support myself. Luckily I got away after several years and what I know now was at least one rape, but it took 3 or 4 years.
#49When I was 17, I dumped my physically / emotionally abusive BF of 2 years (+ added a restraining order)... and he wouldn't quit calling... around 50 times a day... for about 4 or 5 months (obviously, I never picked up).
Eventually, it would only happen when he seemed to be really drunk and - of course - there would be some nasty voice message when I didn't answer... many of which were some version of "I'll f*****g kill you b***h."
On one such night, I received another one of these voice messages when my new boyfriend happened to be around to hear it. Shortly afterward, my boyfriend and I were on our way to somewhere and had to drive past my ex's house to get there (as he was only 2 miles or so away). My ex happened to be out in his driveway drinking when - unexpectedly - my new boyfriend slammed on the brakes, jumped out of the car, and ran toward my ex shouting "Are you the b***h-a*s m**********r who keeps threatening my girlfriend?" My new boyfriend was much larger and much more confident (he had grown up a bit rough and was a fairly seasoned fighter)... and - as a result - my ex merely ran into his house when confronted. (Funny how abusive men always always seem to shy away from physical altercations with people who aren't smaller than them, isn't it?).
Anyhow, we haven't heard from him since.
The "new boyfriend" is now my husband and best friend. We have been together for almost 19 years.
#50He called me an ungrateful slvtty b!tch. I haven’t even looked in his direction since
#51I decided to end things with a guy named Al after he showed some extremely scary red flags. I didn’t think there was a need to have a big discussion about the end of the “relationship” because we’d only been dating for about a month and had only seen each other about 6 times during that month. So I sent him a text saying I didn’t think we were a good match and wishing him a great future. (While it’s usually considered bad form to end things over a text, I was afraid of this guy and didn’t want to ever see him again.)
He sent back a text demanding an explanation, so I replied that the last time we were together he had shown himself to be manipulative, condescending, narcissistic, and controlling. I texted that I didn’t see the need for further communication and asked him to please not contact me again.
He left a 2-page, typed, single-space letter on my door step threatening to sue me for slander if I didn’t agree to talk to him about the “real reason” I broke up with him. In the letter, he said I’d made “serous accusations about his character” that could affect his future job possibilities. He said there must be someone in my life who had decided we shouldn’t be together, and that person must have run a background check on him and decided to only share “the worst parts” with me. He said the person who must have run a background check on him (whoever it might have been) didn’t love me. He told me he missed me and still wanted to be with me, but that if I didn’t agree to talk to him he would “let the lawyers handle it.”
He was the scariest, most unhinged person I’ve ever met, let alone dated. Thank god I saw him for what he was after a short amount of time. He’s the reason I have 3 locks on my door and a home security system.
#52Her last text message: "You're a joke. I'm going to destroy you...ruin your life like you did mine. Be afraid. VERY AFRAID. Your life won't end well for you. Goodbye. lol!"
I didn't know it at the time we were dating, but she became an addict, which only made her mental health conditions worse. The night I received this, she told her family she was coming to my place to kill herself in front of me. Woke up at 3am with 4 cops banging on my door trying to find her. They stopped her before she showed up carrying a large chef's knife.
#53My ex stole my dog, then he would call me and tell me, "you're a f##king selfish b##ch and I'm going to beat her and then send her to the pound and they'll put her down". Then he would get her to bark and say, "how does it feel to know you're never going to hear that again?"
#54After I broke up with him he tried to kill himself and blamed it on me. Said I was a terrible person that doesn't have emotions(I do, just sometimes I don't show them) and then somehow got his little friend group and some of the mutual friend group we shared to believe that I sexually assaulted him when he tried to do that to me. He also said that I'm worthless and that he's right in trying to get with another girl almost as soon as I broke up with him. I really hate him, and I'm so glad I moved away. Sorry that it's a bit long and not as good (bad?) as the others.
#55He said a *lot* of things to me after I ended it, even that he wish I died, but the one that hurt the most was after our last big argument when I said I was breaking things off
As if he was just waiting for me to hate him enough to turn away
#56My ex-wife about a few years after I divorced her and went through an very contentious divorce process stated she was so disappointed/angry that she could have had me arrested. She stated she knew purposely that she was blocking my exit from even leaving the toilet room in our bathroom, or forcing me to use the back door to get to my car, or even taking the remote for the garage door when i would leave for work. She told me she wanted me to just touch her so she could have me arrested, and take everything from me, especially all three of our kids. I never touched her when she would start arguments and did what my lawyer told me to do, just leave the house and stay at my parents' near by second home. My ex even stated this in front of our eldest child's therapist in a parent/counselor check in meeting.
Plus she was so narcistic that she tried to make me pay more then the state would allow by knowingly filing a false lease from a friend she rented from (through never paid rent it was later found out) with over stated rent values. Well five years later, our eldest finally grew up and unfortunately sees their mother for the type of person their mother is, and just moved in to my house full time. The other two younger kiddos are also asking to move into my house full time (technically is 50/50) since they are not comfortable with mom. I just made sure the last five years i was the rock the kids needed and always there as a parent should be.
#57So, she cheated on me, not only hit on my best friend five minutes later, but also said “You’re a fat f@ggot and I hope you die” She was…not the best.
#58Well, there was the time that I got home after him trying to force himself on me for a “one last time” to have my five year old announce that according to Daddy my name is actually “F**king, lying b***h”.
#59Not exactly something she said to me, so if it doesn't qualify, feel free to delete or downvote.
I had a relationship with a girl in the USA, but we were both Italian. She returned to italy at some point and I made it clear that our relationship was over.
It was never that much "on" for me. In fact, we wouldn’t have had a relationship at all if I had more of a spine at the time, but I was young and foolish and more concerned about her feelings than mine.
She was also a bit stalky and she was always popping up at the same places I was.
At the time I didn't think it weird as all the Italians congregated at a few specific places, but she always managed to find me regardless of where I was staying at any given time or where I went.
Once she was back in Italy, I get a call from my mother, upset that I got engaged and I never told them.
She actually went to my parent's house, a good 300Km from her home, barged in and told them she was my fiancée and we had decided to get married as soon as she graduated college.
At that time international phone calls were expensive and I didn't have a phone they could call me at because I was moving around quite a bit, so she was able to stay at my parent's house for quite a few days before I could clarify the situation.
It was a nightmare. My parents didn't know what to make of it. She was in their house telling them fantastical stories of our romance and our future plans, while all I could contribute to the discussion were intermittent, staticky denials at $5 a minute (I don't remember the actual cost, but it was expensive).
She had pretty much our entire lives planned, with a job in her father's company, a house on her parents property and the two of us married with kids.
I hate to think what she told her own parents and I probably didn't have a good reputation with them after I finally managed to convince her to go back home and stop harassing my parents.
For a while I was afraid to go back to Italy, lest I'd find her at the airport waiting for me.